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22.1.15

*and spirit says to spirit, welcome home.


Nearly 6 weeks ago Landon and I sat in the waiting room of a hospital and heard a baby cry from the surgery room around the corner. We looked at each other immediately, giant grins on our faces and said "that was her!" A minute later a nurse was wheeling her from the surgery room to the nursery and slowed down and whispered "here is your baby..." It was the most incredible moment of my life. There was our baby. This tiny perfect thing with wrinkly hands and pink lips. "Hi baby, hi baby, hi baby" was all I could say through my tears. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Those next few hours and days in the hospital were some of the most sacred of my life. The most miraculous, beautiful, heartbreaking, wonderful, sorrowful days. The story of Lula is not only my story, it's her birthmother's story too. It's a story we share and only we two mothers can fully understand. It's a miraculous thing to be given the gift of your child, literally given by another mother who loves her so fiercely.  It's the closest to Christ I've ever been. It is the atonement personified. I will be forever and eternally grateful to S for choosing us.

My sister asked me "What has surprised you most about motherhood?" My answer is I had no idea I could love a child so much. She is my heart and my soul. She has the entire world in her smiling face. She is my grace and my hope. She is an old soul and a young heart.  She is God's love. She is every good thing.

Oh Lula girl, your Mom and Dad love you so. Thank you for finding us.

(*A line from a poem my Grandma Karen wrote years ago. A line I've always remembered)

6 comments:

ashley mikell said...

I am so so so happy for you. You are glowing with motherhood and I am sure it couldn't be more real.

Brandilyn said...

Crying so many tears. I love you and I love that little baby Lula and I love your sweet S for sharing her motherhood with you. You're the cutest, most tender mom.

Sarah Leigh said...

This is so beautiful :)

Erin Skidmore said...

the BEST!

Kayla Larson said...

I am so so so happy for your family!

Randy and Brigitte said...

I love reading your blog. You bring such an air of joy and hope, Kate. You keep me going! Baby Lu is sure growing!