out of the night that covers me,
black as the pit from pole to pole,
i thank whatever gods may be,
for my unconquerable soul.

in the fell clutch of circumstance,
i have not winced nor cried aloud,
under the bludgeonings of chance,
my head is bloody, but unbowed.

beyond this place of wrath and tears,
looms but the horror of the shade,
and yet in menace of the years
finds and shall find me unafraid.

it matters not how straight the gate,
how charged with punishments the scroll,
i am the master of my fate:
i am the captain of my soul.

-william ernest henley


all things go

i'm pretty sure i have an unhealthy relationship with clothes. i'm not sure anyone likes working at gap as much as i do, i could look at fashion blogs for hours, i "recreate" my closest every week or so, so i dont get bored with my wardrobe, lay out my outfit every night (and usually try it on before i go to bed) and i'm pretty sure i have at least one clothing item from each style and era. oops.


just as long as our fingers are intertwined

we celebrated v day with homemade pizza, homemade oreos, a homemade picnic in our family room and homemade cards. (he drew a picture for me.... i love it when he does that) and it was perfect.

i love you lanny.
(and homemade oreos.)


garth, that was a haiku

today was kind of a hard day. i was surrounded by people, but i felt lonely. i really missed my family and i really wanted to talk to my mom. i didn't feel like driving in the snow and my hands turned blue from folding denim. i was observed by a specialist as i worked with a student and felt like a half-wit. i ate too much pizza and felt bad for being selfish. then i saw this picture and it made me happy, well that and wayne's world. so i decided to share it. here's to a better tomorrow (today).


blue skies are coming

suddenly all my ramblings seemed remarkably insignificant,

when i saw this face,

and i was in love, straight away.

(little eli, born saturday)


they both like icecream

thoughts from the laundromat1. i find it hard to believe that spring comes here. even the smallest amount of sunshine seems to tell the snow its time to come again. and i just don't see how the 15 foot mounds of snow that decorate the parking lot will ever melt.

2. google health isn't the best website for a self-diagnosing girl, because now...

3. ...i'm pretty sure i'm deathly allergic to wool scarfs and that i have a metatarsal stress fracture.

4. i came home from work monday to lan baking homemade pear pie, and as i type he is looking through his cookbook for a banana bread recipe. i'm either lucky or bound to be diabetic.

5. i appreciate my body when i spend my mornings with a girl who has no control over hers. if she can be so happy, i can be so happy.

6. it's crazy how much our (my) lifestyle has changed in the past month, and even more crazy is how easy it's been for me. (forgive me, but i often felt like i was competing in a rat-race while in arizona.)

7. i cannot wait to be a mom. even more, i cannot wait to see landon as a dad.

8. i'm trying to not think about my sisters, for selfish reasons, i miss them too much. mess is having a baby (any day!) and my heart aches that i wont see him in the hospital, but....

9. ...i'm going to arizona in one month from today! (i knew i wouldn't last long) my brother is getting married, my niece is being sealed to her momma and daddy, i'll see my newest nephew and hug everyone lots.


i'm feeling the pull

it was cold this morning.

i've jogged everyday (but sunday) for the past 3 weeks. i started at 10 minutes and now i go 60. i love it. slow music, cold air, my feet beat with the rhythm. and sometime i think and sometimes i don't. sometimes i'm running away and sometimes i'm running to.