raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice*

Well, I suppose I should address the elephant in the room and explain myself. (Oh, this is going to be dramatic, I can already tell!) My break was much needed. I was in the throes of a thought heavy semester, I was still healing physically, and I was quite consumed with soul-searching while wondering what was next for our little family.

My thought heavy semester: I took 4 psychology classes and last semester will go down in the books as the semester that changed my life. For so many reasons, but these 4 classes added so perfectly to where I was. My favorite class of the semester, no, my favorite class I've ever taken was culture and gender. I read A Geography of Time, The Feminine Mystique, and Crazy Like Us. I would recommend every one, for better or worse. Our lectures and discussions we're invigorating, thought provoking, and real. My beliefs (in things non-religious) were challenged and often times invalidated. My opinions we're pulled apart, inspected, and even shattered at times- and I was forced to pick up the pieces and form replicas of the old or completely new ones. I suppose I could write more here, but I'll leave it at that. If your mind simply will not rest until you hear more about my life changing class (ha!), ask me. But fair warning, I can talk for hours about it (just ask my sisters.)

Healing physically: from our motorcycle wreck, though I should probably say mentally as well. It shook me up. There is work still here to do. I am lucky I am young and can put myself back together. It took a few months for me to be able to run again, really run like I had before. I'm happy to report I feel 100% myself, although one of my broken right toes is a sad, sad sight to see. And good news! Landon's staple scar healed nicely and he does not have a bald spot, he was worried.

Soul-searching: without getting too deep into it (ha! again) I will say we found out a few more things regarding starting (or trying to start) our family. Bad news, it would seem. But that bad news lead us to good news and new goals and we feel so peaceful, so loved, and so excited to see how and when our family starts. Anxiety and fear have been removed from my heart and replaced with hope and faith. Of course, there is still sadness, but what would happiness be without it?

I'm glad I have this space to share. And if everyone in the world stopped reading, I'd still write anyway.

I'll be around.

*listening to this on repeat, I'm seeing it. In April. On Broadway. (!)


Stephanie said...

sounds like a rough couple months in some ways, but that's why they call it growing pains I think.

Mallory Camille said...

I would LOVE to hear all about your enlightening semester, I am craving a stimulating educational conversation.
I wish I could bottle up your genuineness and sprinkle it across the blogosphere, it is so refreshing.
Thank you for sharing.

Ezra, Kian & Eden said...

I wanna sit and listen to you for hours. :) I remember having similar experiences when I was in college and a psych major. There's nothing like getting your mind stretched and pulled and then deciding for yourself. I feel like the end result was a well rounded mind, maybe a little cynicism, as well as hope and a great ability to talk and talk and talk. :)
As a completely unrelated side note, the least Landon could have done was allow a bald spot so that your sad little toe wouldn't feel so along. Hehe. Here's to a new year and new goals! Love you guys!

The Webbs said...

and i just love you and i miss you! i love always reading your stuff and im glad we can talk for hours about all of it. so call me next week and fill me in if any of these details i am missing. happy to see your typing on my screen!

and im always so hopeful for the wonderful future for your little family.

Laraine Eddington said...

Lovely to hear from you Kate.

Kera said...

sounds like you're in a great place! the times that we think aren't so great, are the times where we're learning the most. xx

lauren said...

i want to hear about your classes last semester...they sound amazing and i am longing for educational conversation. i miss being in school. i'm glad you two are healing up from the accident. and, as always, i am thinking of you & praying for your family. you are so strong; not every woman deals with this kind of heartache like you have. i admire you.
p.s. i had no idea that "once" is now a musical! amazing. enjoy your trip to ny. you will love it.

Emily said...

Oh my goodness, I would love to hear about your class! Please do blog more about it.

Love what you sad about sadness. Even though I don't know you in person, I have so much hope for your family. I know everybody says it, but seriously you two will be amazing parents. I can't wait!

Tahnee said...

Your amazing!

mindy said...

I'm tearing up, you have always amazed me Kate. Love you! Move back! &i thoroughly enjoy your blog & how i can feel your heart & soul in your words! You are incredible!