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25.4.12

the picture kept will remind me


Remember this? Well, there was some good news and some bad news. The good news was that in January it worked! We got two lines after lots (and lots) of just one line. The bad news was I miscarried a few weeks after. Again, dang it. It was heartbreaking. But we are okay! Better than okay really. I feel now more than ever that there is a little someone waiting to come to us. And someday that little someone will. I feel peaceful. I feel ready to take the next step. We'll take it as it comes. It's all in the timing, right?

I wasn't going to post this at first. Partly due to the fact that we didn't tell a soul I was pregnant and just a few people after I wasn't. But, I guess I want people to know. I want any women who reads my blog who is waiting to know that there are a lot of us who feel that pain. I want to remember how blessed I am to have Lando. I want everyone to know how much I trust the Lord. I want everyone to know we are okay.

We have each other and as long as it's just us two, that's enough for me.

26 comments:

The Webbs said...

kate i love you! im so glad we are close and get to go through the good, bad, wonderful, happy, sad and everything in-between. that happy amazing day is coming soon and i cannot wait. the next little lines that makes two lines will be here someday soon. thanks for being one of the coolest people i know :)
i cannot wait for that little sweetie to get here dang nabit.

you two are beautiful together, i love this picture kate. im so glad you two have each other :)

The Webbs said...

^together*

mad white woman said...

I hadn't read that post. Perhaps that was before I was reunited with your blog.

Of course nothing I can say will make you pregnant (thank goodness we can't get pregnant from words!), but do know I'll be praying for you and those little souls that will someday be in your arms.

You're brave for exposing such tender feelings and oh, so positive and trusting.

Mel said...

Beautiful. It's so important for women to understand how common it is, how heartbreaking it is, but how possible it is to get through it.

Thanks for sharing.

mindy said...

Your attitude is amazing! ! We love u guys and love that picture! Prayers sent ur way! And. Can't wait to hear good news in the near future

communikate. said...

beautiful photo!

and all i can say is "dangit, kate!" i know "sorry" just doesn't cut it sometimes.

thank you for sharing though. i think that's the beauty of blogging is that we share our hopes, struggles, and sorrows and connect with others.

sending a giant cyber hug your way mrs lines.

Ezra, Kian & Eden said...

Love you both.

tara said...

you two are the cutest. ever. my goal is to one day be as amazing as you are. i think it's a good goal.

Mandy said...

Love this a lot. We need more honesty around this blog land. I appreciate your honesty and your reassurance that bad things happen and you can overcome them.

David and Shalynna said...

Kate. You are so sweet. Such an example to me.

I never realized that such a big part of our lives as young adults (am I still a young adult? :) would involve so much heartache over miscarriage. I guess you grow up and just imagine that you'll have kids right when you want them. I know that each stage in our lives there will be different kinds of trials and right now this type of thing is a challenge in so many of the lives of those I love. I wish I could help more, but I do know that I can pray. I know prayer works! I'll keep you in my prayers. Thank you for being so strong and positive.

I don't know how to word this (I dont know how to word anything), but I feel like experiences like these will prepare you for motherhood and make you an even more amazing mother than you would have been had you not gone through this. You just have so much love and the babies that come into your home will be so lucky.

Chelsea said...

You are a champ! And, just FYI, I was texting you this morning before catching up here :) Can't wait for your turn, you will be the loveliest mother!

brandilyn said...

i love love love you. i think you're brave and kind and beautiful and i so admire your ability to write simply and sweetly about the important things.

lunch soon?

Cambra said...

Sometimes the deepest solace comes from those whose heart strings are torn and tugged in fashions similar to our own. I'm sure there are many women out there, myself included, who appreciate this post on a personal level. But how lucky we are to have loving best friends as husbands to love on, appreciate, and serve through the toughest spots!

A FANCY DAY said...

I can't even imagine what this feels like, I wish you all the luck in the world. Do you read Natalie's blog Nat The Fat Rat? She writes very openly about this in her life and I'm sure her words would be some comfort.

Also don't even worry about the car thing, I didn't even call out your name I was totally distracted.

Saije said...

You know how to say what is so hard to say, perfectly. & i'm so glad you do, along with many others I'm sure!! Sending love & prayers your way!

angela hardison said...

this made my heart hurt, because i know that hurt all too well. i'm glad you're doing okay, and i'm glad you and landon have each other (how cute is that photo of you guys?!)

i cannot believe i'm typing this with my own baby finally in my arms. what a miracle. and miracles will come for you too!

sending you love and hugs and prayers, and most of all, continued peace. you're already an amazing mother.

laurice. said...

I know there's a little baby lines coming soon. I can feel it.

carla thorup said...

oh, this photo. these words.

you are so beautiful. what a handsome couple.

sending peace and good mojo. and a few cuss words too because that sometimes helps with the ache.

Spoiled Eggs said...

You're so amazing, Kate. You both are. We love you guys!

shanna kesler said...

That's a really sweet picture of the two of you. And you have a really great outlook on things. One day I'm sure you'll look back at the years that it was just the two of you and they will seem so so brief. (That's what I tell myself anyways.)

Molli loves Tyler said...

Well said, Kate. Still praying for you every day.

Lissa Chandler said...

this post is beautiful. and from what i've seen, you are going to be an amazing mom when the time comes.

Jules said...

I've been thinking about my own past miscarriage and how I feel about it now that I DO have a baby, and it does still hurt. The anniversary is coming up and I remember the day I turned to Seve, a week before we were due for that soon-to-be awful ultrasound, and telling him that I thought something was wrong and that I just didn't FEEL pregnant anymore . . . it was so, so terrible.

I've been meaning to comment on this post but was waiting until I knew just what to say . . . but I still don't know what to say, except that I remember that pain, and you're on my mind, and in my prayers, and you guys mean so much to me, and I hope the joy you're waiting for will come soon.

lauren said...

you are incredible, dear friend. i am thankful that you posted this. i am thankful that you are brave and open and honest. its refreshing and it is entirely the reason we are friends today.
i think of you often. your babies are going to be so lucky to have you for their mama.

R A C H A E L said...

I am so glad you posted this. It is a testament to you and to Lando (can I call him that?) and to your marriage to come through this stronger. And there is a little someone waiting up there for you.

Emily said...

Oh Kate, I'm sorry this had to happen. Your strength and dignity is so admirable. I've seen the heartache from the outside as other friends deal with miscarriage, and then I see the joy when they become parents and all that struggle comes full circle.
I really wish the very best for you two!